well, here's hoping 2013 was easier than 2012, though admittedly that's basically like saying i hope something is softer than diamonds. this year just plain sucked and didn't stop, and there were times you really wanted to give up, and i know that.
but you didn't. how come? there's a lot of reasons, really--as many times as you wanted to just throw it all away, you somehow managed to remember at least one of those reasons each and every time. there's still a lot you have to do, and giving up means you never would get any of it done, and that's completely inefficient and you'd never stand for that, right?
so keep remembering those things that make you want to not give up. here, i'll make you a list:
first and foremost, your friends. you have more of them than you ever really thought you would, and it's kind of amazing that we ever even thought about never having any again, huh? as much as you've been hurt by people you loved in the past, remember that there are a lot of people who love you right now, and even if you don't think much of yourself, they'd be pretty upset if you gave up.
your pets. yeah, maybe that's kind of a silly thing to mention, but really, without you who's gonna take care of them, right? who will Asu stalk? whose bed will Kinou shed all over? who'll laugh at David flailing around trying to catch fish and laugh at Athena's underbite and Rocky's spaz attacks? they need you, even if you think nobody else does.
your sister. yeah, she kinda goes in the first category too, but she gets her own. ma lost her big sister, remember? you never met her, but you know it changed ma's life. don't you dare do that to Anna.
your book. well, one of them. any of them? come on, you were supposed to be rich and famous like years ago, stop stalling and just fucking finish something.
i'm gonna say your friends again, because really they're the most important one. remember that they've stuck by you this long, that they've put up with your tantrums and your temper, your lows and your lashing out. they've been there for the good times, but they've stayed through the bad ones too, and you're grateful for each and every one of them. you don't always get along with everyone all the time, but just because you fight doesn't mean you stop caring, right? it doesn't mean they do either, so stop being so scared they're just going to leave you. if they've stuck around this long, they're probably in it for the long haul.
anyway, self, this is getting pretty long now, so maybe i should shut up. brevity has never been my strong point and i'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's probably still not yours either, but... in the end, maybe that isn't something to prioritize working on.
work on that anger, though. i know it's easier to be angry, because anger is strong instead of weak, it's fierce instead of afraid, but being angry pushes away the people you care about. so stop that. you don't have to be strong all the time.
work on your book too. one of them. any of them. if you still haven't gotten at least halfway through something, we're gonna have some words.
don't give up. remember, you made someone a promise. and we don't break those. commit it to memory.
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well, here's hoping 2013 was easier than 2012, though admittedly that's basically like saying i hope something is softer than diamonds. this year just plain sucked and didn't stop, and there were times you really wanted to give up, and i know that.
but you didn't. how come? there's a lot of reasons, really--as many times as you wanted to just throw it all away, you somehow managed to remember at least one of those reasons each and every time. there's still a lot you have to do, and giving up means you never would get any of it done, and that's completely inefficient and you'd never stand for that, right?
so keep remembering those things that make you want to not give up. here, i'll make you a list:
anyway, self, this is getting pretty long now, so maybe i should shut up. brevity has never been my strong point and i'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's probably still not yours either, but... in the end, maybe that isn't something to prioritize working on.
work on that anger, though. i know it's easier to be angry, because anger is strong instead of weak, it's fierce instead of afraid, but being angry pushes away the people you care about. so stop that. you don't have to be strong all the time.
work on your book too. one of them. any of them. if you still haven't gotten at least halfway through something, we're gonna have some words.
don't give up. remember, you made someone a promise. and we don't break those. commit it to memory.
love,
me from a year ago