I'm bad with this. Always have been. Maybe now, reading this you still are too - but you know what, that's okay. That's you, and there's no problem in that.
I guess that's the first thing I want to say to you, one year later: I hope you're comfortable with who you are. Settle into your own skin. There're a lot of people to envy out there - physically, mentally, emotionally - but envy can only take you so far. Accept the person you are, because only then can you work towards the person you want to become. It's not easy, I know. But there's no need to be ashamed of who you are. Unless, of course, you've done something awful in the past year, like kick a puppy or sit on a kitten. But I trust that you've done no such thing (or at least I hope you haven't), and so: love yourself. Do things that express this love for your being, like reading poetry, or making yourself a cup of tea, or taking a quiet walk. Catch yourself every time you see yourself falling into one of those pits of distraction, like refreshing Facebook over and over, or desperately scrolling through Tumblr. That just makes you lonely. So don't do that to yourself. Do something else instead, like put on soft music and close your eyes. A song lasts between 3-5 minutes - you can spare yourself that much time to let yourself unwind.
Well, I'm being naggy. But that's another part of us, the longwindedness. I wonder if we'll ever grow out of it.
So I hope 2013 went well for you. Remember: there's always good shit and bad shit. What matters is that shit all turns to manure and makes flowers grow pretty. I'm bad with metaphors. Analogies? Either way, we are apparently not made to be English majors. I hope whoever you are now is someone you're happy to be. If you aren't - the bad news is that sucks, and the good news is that 2014 is on its way, and you can bury the fuck out of 2013. Hopefully you won't have to do that. Hopefully you got braver, hopefully your spine stayed straight and your chin stayed up. You've got to keep that going for all the years ahead of you, got it? You learn fast, it's just memory retention you've got a problem with. So commit that to your long-term storage and hang on tight.
Anyway. You're what, halfway through sophomore year and a whisper away from your 21st birthday. I have no idea where you're gonna be, but I hope it's a place that is goddamn kickass. Or at least with people you love. The second one's more important. And I know, the 21st birthday is the one with a shit load of pressure to be cool and memorable and whatever fuck-all, but seriously - what matters is that you're happy. Pamper yourself. Indulge. Travel if you want to, spend whatever money you want, just don't look back and lament that you spent it with people you didn't like in a place you didn't care for. Careful with that, okay? And by the way, holy fuck, you're going to be 21, which means you're practically an adult. But! Don't panic. It's not like adults know whatever the fuck they're doing anyway. So remember the important things - never compromise what's closest to you, stand up for what you believe in, love yourself, don't eat the yellow snow, be responsible. Don't regret things. I know, it's an easy thing to say. But if you say it often enough, who knows - one day it might stick.
That said, congratulations, you survived another year, but how many of your friendships survived alongside you? Yes, here comes the good old Don't You Dare Forget Your Friends speech. It's in every Time Capsule! And with good reason -- where the fuck would you be without them? Wallowing in misery no doubt. Go do something silly, like whatsapp someone or snapchat another or drop a text. Pick the people you love and love on them. They've loved on you, it's only fair. I sure as hell hope you hung on to at least some of the friendships from your freshman year. I know, 18yo Joie underestimated how hard it would be to make friends in a foreign country far from home. But you're 20 now, probably having realized how hard it is to keep those friendships. So I hope that you've worked on and will continue to work on them. These are people from the new phase of your life. It's time you make space in your heart for them too.
And you know, in every single Time Capsule I tell you to keep writing, and remind you that it's your one lifeline. You know what, fuck that. If you kept writing, that's awesome. If you didn't, that really sucks and I hope you found something else worth your while. But whatever it is, whatever you are creating now, I hope that all of it holds meaning. You're old enough to be discerning, so keep away from the half-arsed works. Everything you write (because I have a feeling and a hope that you'll keep it up even with the out I've given), make sure it means something, make sure it's quality. Don't settle for anything less. And go find someone to tear apart your poems. You've been babied long enough, it's okay to get torn apart every now and then.
Oh and: the boyfriend thing. Look, I have no idea what the hell is in store for your love life, but remember: IT'S A GOOD TIME BEING SINGLE. Okay who am I kidding, sometimes it sucks, we both know that. But that isn't the end of the world either. I hope you found someone, but if you didn't, I hope you stayed happy. Chin up, girlfriend. Don't lose hope! And don't forget about your friends when you finally do get attached. Don't be that excessively PDAy couple. It's annoying for your single friends. Be considerate, okay?
Well, I think it's time to wrap this up. It's the old drill - keep dreaming. Believe. Open your heart and your eyes. Don't be afraid to feel. Don't be afraid in general. Except of ghosts and killers, because those are scary. Read more, brush your teeth daily, hydrate yourself. Take a moment to find beauty. Strive always for goodness. Tolerate a few slip-ups, but never lose sight of who you are. Hate little, love a lot. Reach out. And most importantly, live.
no subject
I'm bad with this. Always have been. Maybe now, reading this you still are too - but you know what, that's okay. That's you, and there's no problem in that.
I guess that's the first thing I want to say to you, one year later: I hope you're comfortable with who you are. Settle into your own skin. There're a lot of people to envy out there - physically, mentally, emotionally - but envy can only take you so far. Accept the person you are, because only then can you work towards the person you want to become. It's not easy, I know. But there's no need to be ashamed of who you are. Unless, of course, you've done something awful in the past year, like kick a puppy or sit on a kitten. But I trust that you've done no such thing (or at least I hope you haven't), and so: love yourself. Do things that express this love for your being, like reading poetry, or making yourself a cup of tea, or taking a quiet walk. Catch yourself every time you see yourself falling into one of those pits of distraction, like refreshing Facebook over and over, or desperately scrolling through Tumblr. That just makes you lonely. So don't do that to yourself. Do something else instead, like put on soft music and close your eyes. A song lasts between 3-5 minutes - you can spare yourself that much time to let yourself unwind.
Well, I'm being naggy. But that's another part of us, the longwindedness. I wonder if we'll ever grow out of it.
So I hope 2013 went well for you. Remember: there's always good shit and bad shit. What matters is that shit all turns to manure and makes flowers grow pretty. I'm bad with metaphors. Analogies? Either way, we are apparently not made to be English majors. I hope whoever you are now is someone you're happy to be. If you aren't - the bad news is that sucks, and the good news is that 2014 is on its way, and you can bury the fuck out of 2013. Hopefully you won't have to do that. Hopefully you got braver, hopefully your spine stayed straight and your chin stayed up. You've got to keep that going for all the years ahead of you, got it? You learn fast, it's just memory retention you've got a problem with. So commit that to your long-term storage and hang on tight.
Anyway. You're what, halfway through sophomore year and a whisper away from your 21st birthday. I have no idea where you're gonna be, but I hope it's a place that is goddamn kickass. Or at least with people you love. The second one's more important. And I know, the 21st birthday is the one with a shit load of pressure to be cool and memorable and whatever fuck-all, but seriously - what matters is that you're happy. Pamper yourself. Indulge. Travel if you want to, spend whatever money you want, just don't look back and lament that you spent it with people you didn't like in a place you didn't care for. Careful with that, okay? And by the way, holy fuck, you're going to be 21, which means you're practically an adult. But! Don't panic. It's not like adults know whatever the fuck they're doing anyway. So remember the important things - never compromise what's closest to you, stand up for what you believe in, love yourself, don't eat the yellow snow, be responsible. Don't regret things. I know, it's an easy thing to say. But if you say it often enough, who knows - one day it might stick.
That said, congratulations, you survived another year, but how many of your friendships survived alongside you? Yes, here comes the good old Don't You Dare Forget Your Friends speech. It's in every Time Capsule! And with good reason -- where the fuck would you be without them? Wallowing in misery no doubt. Go do something silly, like whatsapp someone or snapchat another or drop a text. Pick the people you love and love on them. They've loved on you, it's only fair. I sure as hell hope you hung on to at least some of the friendships from your freshman year. I know, 18yo Joie underestimated how hard it would be to make friends in a foreign country far from home. But you're 20 now, probably having realized how hard it is to keep those friendships. So I hope that you've worked on and will continue to work on them. These are people from the new phase of your life. It's time you make space in your heart for them too.
And you know, in every single Time Capsule I tell you to keep writing, and remind you that it's your one lifeline. You know what, fuck that. If you kept writing, that's awesome. If you didn't, that really sucks and I hope you found something else worth your while. But whatever it is, whatever you are creating now, I hope that all of it holds meaning. You're old enough to be discerning, so keep away from the half-arsed works. Everything you write (because I have a feeling and a hope that you'll keep it up even with the out I've given), make sure it means something, make sure it's quality. Don't settle for anything less. And go find someone to tear apart your poems. You've been babied long enough, it's okay to get torn apart every now and then.
Oh and: the boyfriend thing. Look, I have no idea what the hell is in store for your love life, but remember: IT'S A GOOD TIME BEING SINGLE. Okay who am I kidding, sometimes it sucks, we both know that. But that isn't the end of the world either. I hope you found someone, but if you didn't, I hope you stayed happy. Chin up, girlfriend. Don't lose hope! And don't forget about your friends when you finally do get attached. Don't be that excessively PDAy couple. It's annoying for your single friends. Be considerate, okay?
Well, I think it's time to wrap this up. It's the old drill - keep dreaming. Believe. Open your heart and your eyes. Don't be afraid to feel. Don't be afraid in general. Except of ghosts and killers, because those are scary. Read more, brush your teeth daily, hydrate yourself. Take a moment to find beauty. Strive always for goodness. Tolerate a few slip-ups, but never lose sight of who you are. Hate little, love a lot. Reach out. And most importantly, live.
I wish you all the best for the new year.
Much love,
Your past.