I sure do hope that by this time in 2013, you have a house. Preferably the one you're trying to buy right now. Please, for the love of god, don't fuck up your relationship. I swear I will come back from the past and smack you in the face if you do anything stupid. You are 26; act like it.

Also I hope you're still kicking ass at your job because there's no reason not to. You should be almost ready for a damn promotion here, okay. So you'd better be a goddamn baller.

PS, please don't weigh anything more than 175 by this point (unless you're pregnant or something, but please don't be pregnant yet.) Thaaaaaanks.